1. I’ve finally decided to take the plunge into online dating. So much opportunity awaits me!
Meeting guys at bars and clubs has failed me. Time to switch things up a bit!
2. OK, let’s make that profile!
Hey, I am who I am, right?
3. Which pic should I put up? I think I’ll just play it safe.
I mean, I don’t want these guys thinking I’m a slut or something.
4. Wait, what’s up with all these questions that I kind of don’t know the answers to?
Am I signing up for an online dating site or taking the SATs?
5. Really, stop with all the pointless questions.
STEAL is to STALE as 89475 is to…
7. Hold up. He wants to spread Nutella where? With his what? While his cat does WHAT? Aww, hell no!
I didn’t even know so much vulgarity could exist in one sentence.
9. OK, another message. Please don’t creep me out. PLEASE.
All I ask is that he doesn’t have a weird fetish, has all his teeth, and isn’t old enough to be my father.
10. Aww, he wants to meet up for coffee!
11. So this means I have to talk to him, like, in real life?
Can’t we just keep it strictly virtual? I don’t do too well with the whole “knowing what to say to someone you’ve never met” thing.