• 1. Post updates while getting married

    Like this guy. Do the smoosh-cake-in-each-other’s-faces thing and then post pics. We can wait.

  • 2. Play Farmville, Mafia Wars or any of those other time sucks

    Nothing shows the world you have no life better than seeing a badge from a virtual Facebook game. And then there’s the Farmville-addicted mom who allegedlyShiver!

  • 3. Post every time a famous person dies

    RIP whoever. That’s what the Academy Award dead reel is for. And who are the freaks who click “like” on these notices?

  • 4. Drink & Facebook

    Let this sleazy stock photo, above, and this other dude’s alleged drinky deeds be a lesson to ya.

  • 5. Post the pics of your underage beer bong party

    Like this couple in Florida allegedly did.

  • 6. Misspell stuff that the whole world can see

    Misspell stuff that the whole world can see And it’s all attached to your name. Like these geniuses who spelled Mosque, “Mosk.”

  • 7. Talk about how much you hate your job

    Yes it’s tempting. And yes, like this teacher you will get fired for it.

  • 8. Break into someone’s house and log into your Facebook account

    You’d think we wouldn’t have to tell you this. But you’d be wrong.

  • 9. Tell people you are going out of town

    Unless you want your place robbed, not bright.

  • 10. Spew about how frackin’ in love you are

    It’s annoying. Luckily, you will be publicly shamed.