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It's true: learning to ride a bike — at any age — can be deeply traumatizing.
Between that whole balance/speed/gravity thing...
...and the crazy motorists on the streets today...
...it's a wonder we even try.
And then there are friends and family. They might mean well...
...but their hopes are crushing, their expectations impossible to escape.
And so you humor them.
But so nervous are you that their advice goes in one ear...
...and out the other.
Mind racing faster miles an hour, you try to fight off the doubts with false bravado. "Whoa, hold up everyone."
"I got this," you say.
And so the training wheels come off...
...and you step forward to meet the challenge because it's yours and yours alone to master.
With an air of confidence, you adjust the saddle and swing your leg over the top tube.
You get a push from a friend, sibling, or parent, and pedal furiously...
...but ten feet out, you realize you're in trouble...
...and calamity strikes!
The onlookers are SHOCKED...
...mortified even.
Other people pretend like they didn't even see it...
...as you pick yourself up, knee scraped and ego bruised.
Confidence ebbing, you'd rather be dead right now...
...but after a chat with Dad...
...and some loving reassurances...
...you're ready to give the bicycle another spin.
You ride further on your second attempt...
...but lose your balance...
...and crash. Again.
Begetting yet even more calamity.
And shock.
And mortification.
The sitch seems dire...
...but in misfortunate you've seen the light.
And after another bit of encouragement...
...you know what you need to do. No more excuses or delays...
...because the moment of truth is here and it's time to carpe diem that ish.
Finding your stride, you pedal forward...
...and this time, the third time, it sticks! You're upright, perfectly balanced, and transferring weight from side-to-side like a freaking boss. A sense of relief creeps over you...
...because you've confronted your failures.
The older kids aren't impressed but...
...but you got the last laugh...
...and nothing can bring you down.
Not even sharp, pointy objects that might puncture your tires.
You still might crash on occasion...
...but it's not like you don't have what matters most: heart.
The haters can go suck it...
...because you're a regular badass now, popping wheelies wherever you damn please.
And wheelies, my friends, confer status.
So relax a bit. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done...
...and unwind with a cold beverage.
Hats off to you -- you're now a seasoned bike rider! Tour de France here we come...
...because once you've learned to ride a bike, you'll never need to do it again.
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