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21 Pieces Of Wicked Pissah Red Sox Swag For The World Champion In Your Life

Shut up and take my money!

Have you heard the news? The Boston Red Sox defeated the St. Louis Red Birds 6-1 in Game 6 to clinch the 2013 World Series, 4 games to 2.

The title is the franchise’s 3rd in 10 seasons and 8th overall, but the first to be won at home in Fenway Park since 1918.

As you might imagine, the win triggered a raucous victory party…

…complete with the biggest bottle of champagne known to man, reported to cost an eye-popping $100K! (Don’t worry, these guys can afford it!)

The news has Sox fans — both diehards and Johnny-come-lately bandwagon types — reaching for their wallet. In this spirt then, here are 21 of the most redonkulous Red Sox items available for purchase on the Interwebz.

1. This t-shirt that trades on a reference a measure more obscure that your average team swag. (Sidenote: I don’t know what type of blanks they print on but this is the softest tee in my rotation.)

$19.18 — I see what you did there — at Homage.

2. This Jim Rice mesh batting practice jersey (circa 1989).

$80 from the retro recreationists at Mitchell & Ness.

3. For those with deep pockets, this 2007 World Championship ring, given previously to a club employee but now up for auction. #blingring

$29,999.99 — or best offer — at eBay. Bonus: free shipping with the Buy-It-Now feature!

There’s a diamonds on the diamond pun in here somewhere but I just can’t seem to finesse it out…

4. This incredibly rare satin Starter jacket from the ’80s. The blue variant was a dime-a-dozen but the red is an elusive find.

$175 at eBay.

5. This canvas gym bag, printed in a distressed fashion to lend it a vintage property.

$50 at Mitchell & Ness.

6. This sharp little cardigan. It’ll make you look distinguished.

$125 at Mitchell & Ness.

7. This fleece hoodie with a throwback print.

$90 at Mitchell & Ness.

8. This authentic collection Diamond Era game cap, which comes complete with World Series patch on the side.

$39.99 at MLB.com.

9. These striped tube socks. Because SOX.

$9.99 at MLB.com.

10. This puffy snap button vest.

$79.95 at eBay.

11. This David Ortiz minifig. With beard.

$12.99 at MLB.com.

12. This out-of-left-field zombie figurine which makes zero sense (but I want it anyway).

$19.99 at MLB.com.

13. These awesome sunnies.

$5.99 at Etsy.

14. These earrings.

$18 at Etsy.

15. This vintage ringer t-shirt commemorating the team’s 1986 ill-fated playoff appearance. (True story: I had this shirt in college but it was pilfered by an ex.)

$79.99 at eBay.

16. This striped v-neck emblazoned with an oversized “B”.

$34 at Urban Outfitters.

17. These custom-painted TOMS.

$95 at Etsy.

18. These slippers shaped to resemble high top sneaks.

$29.95 at BunnySlippers.com.

19. This t-shirt which serves as a timely reminder not to get champagne in your eyes.

$27.99 at MLB.com.

20. These seats from Fenway Park, OMG!

$999.99 from MLB.com.

21. Finally, there’s this atrocity. What kind of sick monster would coat a batting helmet in tiny, bedazzled sequins?

$1299 — I mean, seriously, WTF? — at eBay.

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