1. That feeling when you saw that “You have new notes!” light blinking.
You’re extra old school if you remember the little flag.
2. And when you noticed that your page hits had gone up.
You’re the most popular Negro on the internet!
3. When they instituted the BlackPlanet pager.
Holla game increased 350%.
4. And when you got a page from that cutie you’d been admiring and sending notes to.
5. Nearly everybody listed “Native American” along with black in the race portion of their profile.
What, you got “good hair?” That ain’t nothin’ but Ultra Perm.
6. The guestbook.
And how excited you’d get when you’d get a new signature.
9. And the gross ones who referred to your guestbook as your “g-spot” and made you mad uncomfortable.
11. When someone knew how to do scrolling text, you know it was serious.
Raise your hand if the only bit of HTML you know how to do is because of BlackPlanet.
12. And how hard you judged someone when their HTML was messed up.
Fix your code, bruh!
13. When they made it possible to see who was visiting whose page, and you noticed someone on your boo’s page a little too often.
Back. Up. Homie.
14. And when you saw that some creeper was on YOUR page too much.
Again: Back up, homie.
15. Those five or six pictures of afrocentric art that EVERYONE had on their pages.
Not pictured: the drawing of the black man holding the world on his shoulders; the one with the black man and woman with REALLY big booties having sex.
16. Those people whose pages were always “under construction.”
18. Those little thugged out cartoon people that everybody had.
19. Those ANNOYING pop-up dialogue boxes some people had on their pages.
20. You were confused when you saw someone who wasn’t black with a BlackPlanet page.
21. But then you made a MiGente.com page when you got bored with BlackPlanet.
22. And the best part: THE NAMES.
Shout out to folks with screen names like SweetButtaBeauty, Sexxi_Mami_69, NubianFreaq, ButtaFlyyDiva, and Nassty-Nupe99.
You briefly made the internet a better place to be. Thank you.
Are you brave enough to confess to your old BlackPlanet screen name in the comment section??
- Amazon, Walmart, and other retailers were hit with more than $300,000 in fines for selling toy guns that look like real guns.