4. When you put them in a smoothie, guess what it tastes like?
A DIRT SMOOTHIE.
5. When you cut them in half, they look like scary monster eyes.
6. When you make soup out of them, it tastes like dirt soup.
8. Your mom made you eat them all the time.
You’re an adult now. Please make better choices.
9. Drinking too much beet juice can cause an excess of phosphorus, iron, magnesium and copper in your liver, which is DANGEROUS.
10. Beet juice is the same color as the blood that was spilled at Gettysburg.
Who wants to drink Gettysburg blood??
11. They talk bad about you when you’re not around.
It’s true. I heard ‘em.
12. People who actually like beets are always telling people who don’t like them to try them.
“You’ll like them this way!”
NO I WON’T.
13. Sometimes they trick you into thinking they’re cranberry sauce.