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1. You get up hours before you actually have to be at work.
2. You've condensed your morning routine to 25 minutes or less.
3. Every morning you walk outside ready for the day ahead.
And you're greeted with this...
4. Your GPS tells you it's going to take an hour and 45 minutes to go 14.64 miles.
5. You're constantly trying to suppress the pain of traffic with some tunes, but it's the same old song every single day.
6. You sing the songs anyway to pass the time and eventually you look over and the person in the car next to you catches you singing and has a smirk like, I own you now.
And you're just like, Step off. Creep.
7. You probably spend a lot of your weekday mornings with this guy.
8. When the on-ramp the GPS told you to use is closed...
9. There is always some entitled human that gets in the exit lane, PASSES ALL THE GOOD PEOPLE, and then tries to merge back at the last second, and when you see this about to happen you're like...
10. But when you do something questionable and some beautiful person lets you merge into their lane without putting up a fight you're just like...
11. Waze is always taking you on a different crazy route and you're constantly like, Dafuq am I?
12. You feel like this when you finally get to work and when you get home at the end of the day.
13. You're so numb to being honked at, cursed at, and flipped off for no reason that whenever it happens you're just like...
14. There's about a four hour window during the workday that you are not thinking about your commute.
15. Around 3 p.m. you start checking traffic and continue to do so every 15-20 minutes.
16. And then you check traffic at 4:30 p.m. and your commute home has increased to an hour and 15 minutes.
17. IT'S FINALLY TIME TO GO HOME.
18. The excitement quickly dies if you finish work between 5:30-6:30 because you check traffic and it's like 2 hours and 13 minutes to go 20 miles.
19. And if you get off after 7:30 the traffic is so much better and it's only like 30 minutes to go 20 miles.
20. A benefit of driving home when it's dark is that no one can see you belt it out.
21. When your GPS doesn't update fast enough and you miss the turn, which sets you back 15 minutes...
22. By the time you get home, you're SO tired and you only have about an hour to live your life.
23. Your nights either looks like this:
Or this:
24. And if it looks like the latter the next morning you're always like...
25. And finally, you begin and end each day with the thought, I really need to get a job closer to home.
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