3. In a patch of damp.
Jesus looks sad about having been trapped behind a fridge.
4. On the lid of a jar of Marmite.
Marmite’s still horrible, though.
5. On a wall.
Relevance of sandwiches to appearance of Jesus unclear.
7. In a Chinese takeaway.
Jesus looks like a young John Peel waking up with a really bad hangover.
10. On a car.
Um… look, you might have to put a bit more effort into this whole face-appearing business, Jesus.
12. On a cider bottle.
Guys, that’s barely even a face, never mind a miraculous face.
15. On a chicken.
Maybe if you squint a bit, it might… nope. Still not seeing it.
16. In a flooring tile.
What? What? There is NO JESUS here. There’s not even a HINT of Jesus.
17. On a t-shirt.
To be clear: a man got a tattoo of Jesus’s face on his back, put a t-shirt on, and was then astonished when an image of Jesus’s face mysteriously appeared on it.