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19 Brilliantly Terrible “My Wife” Puns So Bad They Should Be Made Illegal

Conclusive proof that these are the best jokes.

  1. "My wife recently went on holiday to the Caribbean..."
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  1. "My wife recently went on holiday to north Italy..."
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  1. "My wife recently flew on a plane to a city in the American Midwest..."
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  1. "My wife’s band recently went on tour in southeast Asia..."
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  1. "My wife has recently been writing a dictionary while staying in a city on the east coast of Scotland..."
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  1. "My wife and my mother-in-law recently went shopping in India..."
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  1. "My husband recently went on holiday to Weymouth..."
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  1. "Hey, can you remember which US state my wife’s gone on holiday to?"
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  1. "My wife and I recently went on a romantic break to north Wales..."
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  1. "I recently went for a dirty weekend in the south of France with my wife..."
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  1. "My husband recently joined a social network in a village on the south coast of England near Chichester..."
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  1. "My wife recently went clothes shopping on the east coast of the USA..."
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  1. "Police are investigating the mysterious disappearance of my husband in a large city in Yorkshire..."
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  1. "My boyfriend and I recently went on a very long journey to the fourth-largest city in The Netherlands...."
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  1. "My civil partner's restaurant in southwest London was recently closed down by health inspectors after it made her customers ill..."
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  1. "My husband and I recently went back to our old neighbourhood in one of India's biggest cities, and we couldn't believe how gentrified it had got. There were so many shops and restaurants we didn't recognise..."
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  1. "Moi woife, who like both of us has a very stereotypical Oirish accent, has recently spent some toime down large holes in de ground in a city in dat dere Iowa, so she has, to be sure."
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  1. "My wife's band, who if you remember were touring southeast Asia, are now in South Korea..."
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  1. "Jesus Christ, I just found out that my wife recently started having an affair with my best friend in south Wales..."
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