Everything You Need To Know About The England Vs. Italy Match

Yes, we lost. But still.

1. Everybody was very excited for the England vs. Italy match.

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2. The BBC got us in the mood with… whatever this was.

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3. Just before the match, everybody had the same thought.

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5. While Steven Gerrard was full of enthusiasm for our national anthem.

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6. Unbelievably, England started well.

Let's not get too excited but Sterling is the new Maradona.

— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets)
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7. And then England SCORED. Except they didn’t. But the caption writers thought they did.

BBC pay dividend to English licence fee payers by awarding us a free goal! #EnglandvsItaly

— Tim Glanfield™ (@timglanfield)
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8. In their defence, it really did look in.

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9. There was a horrifying possibility that England might do well.

Oh god. HOPE. The worst thing. Disaster. #ENG

— Tom Phillips (@flashboy)
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10. Luckily the pundits were there to save us from excitement. Phil Neville in particular.

Phil Neville's voice helping to counteract any adrenaline.

— Römesh Ranganathan (@RomeshRanga)
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Phil Neville sounds like he's talking to his therapist

— George Magnus (@georgemagnus1)
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Phil Neville sounds like he's spent the day listening to Joy Division records with Mark Lawrenson.

— Toby Fair (@TopTopPundit)
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Phil Neville sounds like a Dignitas satnav.

— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell)
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14. But still, England were looking good.

The Brazilian climate's done wonders for Rooney's hair #OppositeOfABrazillian #ComeOnEngland

— Timothy Powell (@TCP1980)
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Rooney's hair implants have grown in nicely.

— Sean Taylor (@SeanTayTay)
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Wayne Rooney's hair is looking fantastic in its World Cup debut.

— Jeff (@jeffito)
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17. Then Italy scored. Obviously.

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18. And everybody was like this:

Twitter right now:

— Sophie Warnes (@SophieWarnes)
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19. But then England actually scored!

Warren Little / Getty Images
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20. There were wild celebrations. This dance.

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21. In fact the celebrations were so wild that our physio got injured and had to be stretchered off with a dislocated ankle..

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Physio, heal thyself.

— Daniel Maier (@danielmaier)
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23. Classic England tactics.

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24. Poor Gary Lewin :-(

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Wonder what was going through Gary Lewin's mind?

— Back Page Football (@bpfootball)
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Rumours that Gary Lewin faked injury as he could hear Phil Neville from where he was stood.

— Römesh Ranganathan (@RomeshRanga)
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30. Everything was evenly balanced.

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31. Although some players tried to fool the referee into thinking they’d scored by pretending to be a football.

— Mike Hayes (@michaelhayes)
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Surely we should be awarded a half goal each time one of our blokes runs into the net.

— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker)
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33. At half time, it was tense.

Halftime tactical chunder

— Georgie (@georgieprior_)
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34. And then shortly after the match started again, Mario Balotelli scored for Italy.

Elsa / Getty Images
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35. …and Twitter looked like this again.

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36. Joe Hart decided to pretend to be a football too.

Pool / Getty Images
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The comforting feeling of football disappointment. It's all I know.

— Charlie Phillips (@charliechar)
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38. Italy started rubbing it in a bit by offering to act as England’s replacement physio.

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39. It was all getting desperate.

England need a goal - what sacrifice are we cool with? I say acute appendicitis for the kit man.

— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts)
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40. Wayne Rooney took literally the worst corner in the history of corners, which kind of summed up how things were going.

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oh my god Rooney no longer knows which direction the PITCH is in

— Warren Ellis (@warrenellis)
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42. Wayne Rooney didn’t have a great match.

Coach's reaction after Wayne Rooney's miss:

— BuzzFeed Sports (@BuzzFeedSports)
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Such a shame Wayne Rooney couldn't be there tonight.

— Ed Morrish (@edmorrish)
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44. …but at least the England players weren’t the only ones having a bad day.

You had one job FIFA substitution guy! @_youhadonejob

— Craig Gutteridge (@derbadian)
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45. And in the end, there was no way back.

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46. But don’t worry, there’s still hope!

So lowering our expectations didn't help. Now what?

— Dicky Moore (@dickymoo)
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Tom Phillips is the UK editorial director for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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