1. Ah, cricket!
2. It’s a gentle sport.
3. A game of quiet dignity.
4. A sport from a more refined and civilised age
5. With moments of high drama.
This was the climax to the thrilling 2005 Ashes series - in which the teams left the pitch because it was getting dark, then everybody waited around for about half an hour before the umpires walked onto the empty pitch and announced that England had won by pulling the stumps out of the ground. Then EVERYBODY CHEERED.
6. A cricket test match lasts for five days, with at least 30 hours of play. That’s 45 times longer than the shortest war in history.
7. It’s a sport that knows the importance of taking regular breaks for tea.
8. A sport that, when confronted with a bit of rain, is not afraid to say “sod this” and run inside.
9. You can do the crossword while watching it. Or indeed, playing it.
10. But mostly, it’s an excuse to sit in the sun all day drinking beer.
11. And then you can participate in the time-honoured activity of making a giant beer snake out of the empty plastic pint glasses.
Beer Snakes even have a Wikipedia entry.
12. The rules of the game are so easy to understand they can be written on a tea towel.
13. Let’s just take another look at Andrew Symonds decking that streaker, shall we?
14. Cricket has a strong beard and moustache history that dominates other sports.
Hashim Amla’s beard is great.
17. Cricket makes powerful hair statements.
21. Cricket is the best because it is not afraid of having really, really, really tiny trophies.
Size ≠ importance.