23 People Who Want To Have Sex With The New iPhone

They’re kind of joking, but just until they see if Apple’s into it. WARNING: Hilariously filthy language. posted on

#iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features You can now have sex with it!

A fleshlight.RT @gitweeta:" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/gitweeta">@gitweeta: iPhone 5 to be released later this month. Wonder what features it will have...

The iPhone 5 better be cool as shit.. I'm talkin bigger screen/improved resolution, better Siri, Fleshlight attachment.. The works!!

@NicholasGazin" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/NicholasGazin">@NicholasGazin @tommyrocket other desired iPhone 5 features: Fleshlight attachment, little pop out robo legs, buttons that make it cuss.

Rumor has it that the iPhone 5 has a new feature that doubles as a fleshlight. Any truth to this?

#iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features I heard there’s going to be facefuck integration. Finally, a use for the rear-facing camera.

Some people want a more emotional connection.

Gently caresses you and assures you that the universe is not indifferent to your crippling loneliness. Also, new camera. #iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features

#iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features Siri tucks your hair behind your ear, making you feel held without actually holding you

Others want to make sure their iPhone is satisfied.

If you lick Siri till she climaxes, she’ll let you change font size in Mail. (Achievement unlocked!!) #iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features

I feel bad that Siri has to deal with this.

#iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features siri will be able to have phone sex with you

#iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features You can have sex with Siri now.

#iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features Siri will have phone sex with you in a Russian accent.

Siri talks dirty to you #iphone5features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iphone5features">#iphone5features

#Siri...." target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23Siri">#Siri.... you'll be a woman soon #iPhone5features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5features">#iPhone5features

RT @michaelkosta:" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/michaelkosta">@michaelkosta: Siri sucks your dick and let's you cum all over her face. #iPhone5Features" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/search?q=%23iPhone5Features">#iPhone5Features

But in the end, it boils down to the same thing.

28. UPDATE: From the Verge Liveblog

Apparently some gadget writers are also familiar with this sentiment.

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