23 Great Twitter Handles Going To Waste

1. @sadsquatch

Sadsquatch is an awesome name but, as @lgriffin points out, Christy Mason totally wasted it, tweeting only once, six months ago, in search of banking advice.

Because of how Twitter is set up, it can be hard to oust inactive users once they’ve established their username. Unless you know someone on the inside, your odds of setting up at @sadsquatch as a depressive northwestern yeti are slim. And there are plenty of other potentially brilliant handles locked up in the same bind.

A few of the most pressing cases:

3. @grandpa

4. @friend

Despite only tweeting twice, @friend has more followers than me.

6. @bigdildo

Via: @dogboner

7. @smalldildo

Have to think these guys know each other. On the bright side, @mediumdildo has yet to be claimed.

9. @elephant

10. @sexhulk

11. @faceeater

Tragically, @Faceeater completely missed the Great Face-Eating Scare of 2012. The loss to Twitter as a platform is incalculable.

13. @fucktheworld

Maybe it’s some kind of protest?

15. @braaaains

16. @gaybatman

17. @ballsohard

It doesn’t seem like he’s balling very hard at all.

19. @butt

20. @evilkitten

21. @twitbro

22. @masterofpuppets

Not clear he’s even aware of the Metallica album.

24. @beans

25. @coveredinbees

26. @swordfighting

27. @hamsterdeath

28. @zombiereagan

Why go to the trouble of making an avatar if you’re only going to tweet twice?

30. @getmoney

31. @defleppardrules

32. And now, finally, some good news.

Whoever nabbed @shitisreal is doing Twitter proud.