1. The Spatula Robot
Clearly we’re no longer worried about functionality.
2. The Singing Christmas Sweater Robot
If you go home tonight and this is in your house, run.
3. The Robotic Dental Patient
4. The Robotic Skeleton Torso
This is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.
5. The Robots of Chuck E. Cheese
True story: These horrible creatures made me cry when I was three years old. I cannot believe they are allowed around children.
6. The Writhing Baby Skeleton
Oh wait, no, this is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.
7. The Disembodied Mouth
It’s trying to say, “kill me.”
9. The Robotic Butt
It just gets spanked by Japanese scientists all day, every day.
10. The Standup Comedy Robot
In particular, we should give up on robots doing standup.
11. The Gray Child Robot
His powers include kicking his legs, barking, and exhibiting distress.
12. The Crawling Elderly Businessman Robot
This is actually a performance art piece about how robots are horrifying.
13. The Big Dog
This one just walks endlessly through the wilderness. Occasionally his creator tries to kick him over.
…and the strangely faithful parody.
14. The Robot Clone
This guy was made in the likeness of Russia 2045 founder Dmitry Itskov. It’s only a matter of time before it kills him in a fit of vengeance.
15. The Uncle Sam Robot
Not technologically sophisticated, but its capacity for rage is endless.
16. The Disembodied Hands
Despite the song, these hands are not happy and cannot know it.
18. The Robot Bartender
Master Blaster, anyone?
19. The Armless Legless Robot
I assume this was punishment for something.
20. The Robot Beatles
The entire premise of this is just mortifying.
21. The Dog-Baby Robot
It has no mouth, but it must scream.
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I know, right? And there’s more where that came from.
Totally! And there’s plenty more to love!
Broken hearted? Maybe you’ll like something over here instead?
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