Tech

21 Signs We Should Give Up On Robots

Well, we tried.

1. The Spatula Robot

Clearly we’re no longer worried about functionality.

2. The Singing Christmas Sweater Robot

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If you go home tonight and this is in your house, run.

3. The Robotic Dental Patient

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The eyes!

4. The Robotic Skeleton Torso

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This is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.

5. The Robots of Chuck E. Cheese

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True story: These horrible creatures made me cry when I was three years old. I cannot believe they are allowed around children.

6. The Writhing Baby Skeleton

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Oh wait, no, this is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.

7. The Disembodied Mouth

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It’s trying to say, “kill me.”

8. The Bodyless Cat

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It’s coming for you.

9. The Robotic Butt

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It just gets spanked by Japanese scientists all day, every day.

10. The Standup Comedy Robot

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In particular, we should give up on robots doing standup.

11. The Gray Child Robot

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His powers include kicking his legs, barking, and exhibiting distress.

12. The Crawling Elderly Businessman Robot

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This is actually a performance art piece about how robots are horrifying.

13. The Big Dog

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This one just walks endlessly through the wilderness. Occasionally his creator tries to kick him over.

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…and the strangely faithful parody.

14. The Robot Clone

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This guy was made in the likeness of Russia 2045 founder Dmitry Itskov. It’s only a matter of time before it kills him in a fit of vengeance.

15. The Uncle Sam Robot

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Not technologically sophisticated, but its capacity for rage is endless.

16. The Disembodied Hands

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Despite the song, these hands are not happy and cannot know it.

17. The Twitchy Robot Clown

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Watch out for the tongue.

18. The Robot Bartender

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Master Blaster, anyone?

19. The Armless Legless Robot

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I assume this was punishment for something.

20. The Robot Beatles

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The entire premise of this is just mortifying.

21. The Dog-Baby Robot

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It has no mouth, but it must scream.

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