1. It didn’t take you long to start finding the incredible scenery you were surrounded by pretty standard.
2. And for dining in hall to stop feeling like Hogwarts and start feeling like home.
3. When you first arrived people kept talking about Hilary, which confused you.
You soon found out the middle term is called Hilary. And the other terms are called Michaelmas and Trinity.
4. You spent countless afternoons watching the world go by outside the KA.
And nursing a single pint because it was so expensive.
6. You never made it to Green Templeton.
In fairness, how were you expected to visit all 38 colleges?
7. And, despite hearing it was beautiful, you never trekked to St Hugh’s either.
8. Your libraries were pretty enough to make working tolerable.
9. But getting to the library was always a struggle because tourists insisted on blocking your path.
10. You had a minor freak-out at Prelims but, looking back, they were child’s play.
11. You had the same reaction every time someone told you they were “pretty big in the Union”.
12. You cared about rowing for one day a year.
You spent that day prancing around the Thames for the Boat Race.
14. Besides, punts are better than rowing boats.
15. You’ve had at least one lonely lunch in the SSL cafe.
16. And contemplated life while wandering around Christchurch Meadow.
18. You weren’t surprised when Arzoo (née Jamal’s) was given the “lowest possible” hygiene rating by the Council.
But it didn’t put you off eating there.
19. You emoted all over your staircase crush at a college Bop.
20. This was where all good nights out started.
21. And they ended on the cheese floor of Park End.
At about 1:30am, of course.
23. Strolling effortlessly into Bridge “VIP” made you feel like this.
25. You have fond memories of the days of Fuzzy Ducks at the O2.
Going to a Brookes night was never quite the same after it moved to Wahoo.
26. And you’re familiar with the feeling of sweat dripping onto you from Babylove’s dance floor ceiling.
27. You’ve witnessed countless first dates at the Missing Bean.
28. Fifth-week blues were very real.
29. You spent three years in an “essay crisis”.
And learnt how to bash out a 2,000-word essay in a few hours as a result.
30. Your main aim at any college ball was to get your money’s worth.
Which probably means you tried to sneak into at least one.
31. You partied on May Day until the 6am singers at the top of Magdalen Tower came out.
34. Your porters became your parents away from home.
But you were still always slightly scared of them.