1. the D&G Gold stall
Dolce & Gabbana Gold restaurant, Milan This isn’t just a fancy, precious be-metaled bathroom; it is also designer. And there are plasma screens playing Goldfinger in every stall, so have an extra coffee.
2. the George W. Bush urinal
by Clark Sorensen Think of this as a post-partisan toilet, bringing together angry liberals and fetishist conservatives. Sadly, like Obama, it is one of a kind.
3. the “Don’t Miss a Sec” toilet
by artist Monica Bonvicni This is the coolest of the one-way glass bathroom, because it goes places like London and Zurich (on the sidewalk, no less). There should be more observational sidewalk toilets.
4. Chung Yo uninals
Chung Yo department store, Taichung City, Taiwan Bathroom + bar = the answer to every bladder-challenged alcoholic’s prayers. It’s unfortunate this luxury is offered only to men.
5. the Bulletproof toilet
Zhongguancun Plaza, Beijing This is the safest shit you will ever take. These toilets cost $100,000K each, btw.
6. the Waterfall urinal
the Madonna Inn, San Luis Obispo, CA Cool toilet inequality aside, this is fairly awesome. It’s like a putt-putt course, but with pee.
7. the Momofuku Ko bathrooms
Momofuku Ko restaurant, New York City, NY This bathroom makes the list both for its quirkiness (a full food library courtesy of mastermind David Chang) and because of the preciousness of what this toilet receives. Yeah, we’re going there. It is perhaps the most valuable bathroom receptacle in the Western Hemisphere.
8. the Ski Jump toilet
in Japanese ski resorts Close your eyes and visualize. See the pee. Be the pee.
9. the Atlantic Ocean
The Atlantic edged out the Pacific due to accessibility and calm waters. (And size, of course; the Indian Ocean is child’s play comparatively. You want a vast toilet in this context.)