Never knew there was a subculture for this kind of thing.

1. Doggie doo?

   

2. 2. Aww. Could you pee at that face?

   

3. 3. Not just a loo! A basin too!

   

4. 4. Cuddles

   

   (via.)

In this homemade instructional video from 1992, a cat owner named Jill takes us through the long and overly complicated steps of toilet training a kitty. She also dabbles in poetry.

Oriental Co., Ltd. is pitching a “revolutionary” recycling machine called White Goat, which turns shredded office paper into toilet paper.

1. Pure Flush Power: Toto Vs. St. Thomas Creations

2. Toto's Cyclone Siphon Jet System: As this "award winning" commercial proves, the Toto toilet has some serious muscle. It can flush a cellphone like it was a gum wrapper.

3. St. Thomas Creations' Quattro Flushing Technology: But St. Thomas went for the kill with this video. A bag of carrots??? Really? And that's not even the most impressive flush. Watching this brought back memories of SNL's famous "oops I crapped my pants" skit.

4. Winner: St. Thomas Creations

   You'll never have to worry...

5. The Smartest Toilet: Toto Vs. Twyford

6. 

   Toto's Intelligent Toilet: Daiwa and Toto teamed up to make "The Intelligent Toilet" which is essentially an in home doctor's office, which you can use any time you sit on the john. It measures urine temperature, blood sugar, blood pressure and obesity and it has a function which individually records one year's worth of measurement data for up to four people in a household.

7. 

   The Twyford VIP: Twyford hit back with the VIP (Versatile Interactive Pan) which fully analyzes your urine and poop for any signs of disease, AND WILL CALL SEND A MESSAGE TO YOUR DOCTOR FOR YOU!!! In addition, as you can see in the photo below, it has a movable seat - so it can double as a urinal. Only downside, it's still just a prototype.

8. Winner: Toto's Intelligent Toilet

   But when the VIP goes into production I'm sure it will be a contender.

9. The Best Bidet: Coco Vs. Toto

10. 

    The Coco Bidet: The Coco Bidet fits right on top of your bowl and for about $600 you can have heated water spraying your crotch. Additional features include heated seats, auto flush, seat massage, auto lifting and lowering lid, built-in deodorizer, a hot air blow dryer, adjustable nozzles with different spray patterns, and convenient remote controls.

11. 

    The Toto Travel Washlet: Although Toto has the "Washlet", which is a direct competitor to the Coco Bidet, they have gone one step further with the "Travel Washlet." That's right, a portable bidet.

12. Winner: Toto

    

    All around, Toto is the champion in toilet tech... and in case you need help with the Travel Washlet, it comes with instructions!

1. I’ll Be Right Back - Godot

   

   source

2. 2. You Have To Draw The Line…

   

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3. 3. I Have A Window Seat

   

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4. 4. Gone To Work

   

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5. 5. Toy Story 2 Was Okay

   

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6. 6. I Just Wrote On The Wall…

   

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7. 7. I Feel Like This Is The Only Real Mark…

   

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8. 8. Everything You Do Matters

   

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9. 9. I’m Feeling Pretty Good About Myself Tonight

   

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10. 10. My Teeth Are Better Than Your Teeth

    

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11. 11. Never Forget (Dinosuars)

    

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1. Paper Towels

   

   The obvious first choice -- try to get the kind that tear in thirds for minimal clogging issues.

2. 2. Magazines

   

   Preferable to newspaper because the print won't rub off on your nether regions. Again, use in moderation.

3. 3. 'Sanitary Napkin'

   

   You'll want to use the really thin pink ones (the heavy-duty overnight kind are NOT recommended). Tearing in half might also be wise.

4. 4. 'Sanitary Napkin' Wrapper

   

   For desperate people and sensitive toilets.

5. 5. Receipt

   

   Beware of paper cuts.

6. 6. Toilet Paper Roll

   

   You'll probably want to reserve this for #1 situations, and you'll also need to take the trash out pretty immediately. It works though.

How does your bathroom etiquette stack up? Are you a Dirty Dumper or what? You need to find out, and quick — this quiz will help you self-diagnose.

1. Simple squat

   

   uɐdɐɾ :ɹǝʍsuɐ

2. Alpine urinal

   

   ʎɐʍɹou :ɹǝʍsuɐ

3. Bucket flush

   

   ʎɐnƃnɹn :ɹǝʍsuɐ

4. Inspection toilet

   

   ʎuɐɯɹǝƃ :ɹǝʍsuɐ

5. Toilet with a view

   

   nɹǝd :ɹǝʍsuɐ

6. Technological toilet

   

   uɐdɐɾ :ɹǝʍsuɐ

7. No-seat toilet

   

   ɐıssnɹ :ɹǝʍsuɐ

8. Squat toilet variation

   

   ɐɔıɹɟɐ ɥʇnos :ɹǝʍsuɐ

9. Sit or squat, the choice is yours

   

   uɐɹı :ɹǝʍsuɐ

1. the D&G Gold stall

   

   Dolce & Gabbana Gold restaurant, Milan This isn't just a fancy, precious be-metaled bathroom; it is also designer. And there are plasma screens playing Goldfinger in every stall, so have an extra coffee.

2. 2. the George W. Bush urinal

   

   by Clark Sorensen Think of this as a post-partisan toilet, bringing together angry liberals and fetishist conservatives. Sadly, like Obama, it is one of a kind.

3. 3. the "Don't Miss a Sec" toilet

   

   by artist Monica Bonvicni This is the coolest of the one-way glass bathroom, because it goes places like London and Zurich (on the sidewalk, no less). There should be more observational sidewalk toilets.

4. 4. Chung Yo uninals

   

   Chung Yo department store, Taichung City, Taiwan Bathroom + bar = the answer to every bladder-challenged alcoholic's prayers. It's unfortunate this luxury is offered only to men.

5. 5. the Bulletproof toilet

   

   Zhongguancun Plaza, Beijing This is the safest shit you will ever take. These toilets cost $100,000K each, btw.

6. 6. the Waterfall urinal

   the Madonna Inn, San Luis Obispo, CA Cool toilet inequality aside, this is fairly awesome. It's like a putt-putt course, but with pee.

7. 7. the Momofuku Ko bathrooms

   

   Momofuku Ko restaurant, New York City, NY This bathroom makes the list both for its quirkiness (a full food library courtesy of mastermind David Chang) and because of the preciousness of what this toilet receives. Yeah, we're going there. It is perhaps the most valuable bathroom receptacle in the Western Hemisphere.

8. 8. the Ski Jump toilet

   

   in Japanese ski resorts Close your eyes and visualize. See the pee. Be the pee.

9. 9. the Atlantic Ocean

   

   The Atlantic edged out the Pacific due to accessibility and calm waters. (And size, of course; the Indian Ocean is child's play comparatively. You want a vast toilet in this context.)

1. China's Finest Outhouse

   Come for the relaxing rural atmosphere, and crap to your heart's content in a rustic wooden temple designed especially for your privacy and comfort. No need to worry about strangers ruining your fun - a trusty guard dog stands by day and night to ensure that you can enjoy yourself in peace and quiet.

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