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32 Things Every Manchester Student Knows To Be True

Why is the King always asleep?

1. You’ve never ventured further than the Northern Quarter.

 

2. You know that a trip to Mauldeth Road means bumping into someone you know.

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And that Mauldeth is the sunniest place in Manchester.

3. You once tried to get a seat in the Ali G by waking up at 5.45am. It didn’t work.

4. You’ve begged the librarian at the John Rylands library to let you off your fines.

5. You’ve had dodge countless protests outside the Students’ Union.

6. Completing the tower challenge is the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

7. And you know that singing to the Crazy Bus Lady on the way out of OP is perfectly acceptable.

 

8. Your bus pass is more valuable to you than your phone and wallet combined.

9. You’ve lost yourself in the Students’ Union at Pangea.

10. You get pretty protective over Bop.

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11. You know where the real Sankeys started.

The Ibiza Sankeys is clearly a Manchester tribute act.

12. Pout lost your respect when it got edgy.

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13. You’ve drunkenly climbed the Vimto statue outside the old UMIST building.

14. Your impression of Paz is unbeatable.

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15. The King at Chicken King is always sleeping when you ask for him.

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16. You’ve passed out on the Magic Bus and ended up at Parrs Wood cinema at least once.

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17. It didn’t take you long to became a house monkey.

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18. You’ve tried to make it as a DJ.

Or at least had a pop on some decks.

19. And got lost in countless dingy basements at house parties.

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20. You’ve watched lots of first dates unfold at The Font.

Which is always amusing because no one can hear anything there.

21. Every time you visit Piccadilly you consider getting a spontaneous piercing by a gurning man in Afflecks.

22. Hanging around post-exam Fallowfield is basically like being on a low-budget holiday.

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23. And you’re still not over Parklife being taken away from you.

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24. You won’t find a single Labour voter in Richmond Park.

25. And you know that City Halls is where the hard workers live.

26. Student Soccer texts you more than your mum.

27. 3G > Astro and tall nets > low nets.

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28. Mughli and Shere Khan are the best things about the Curry Mile.

29. But you love the Veggie Café’s food.

30. You know Manchester is so much better than Leeds.

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31. Besides, Leeds doesn’t have four of the best music venues in the country in its student union.

32. You’ve fallen in love with Manchester and you never want to leave.

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