Top 10 Ways To Annoy A Lesbian

10 things that annoy me most when my sexuality is discussed.

1. 'When did you decide to be gay?':

I think some people confuse making the decision to be open about your sexuality with choosing a certain sexuality. I certainly didn't choose to be gay, I even tried to be straight. Like many other gay women, I simply chose to stop lying to myself, my friends and my family.

2. 'But you don't look like a lesbian':

ALGBTICAL / Via algbtical.org

Oh, I'm sorry, what are lesbians supposed to look like? Because I was unaware that there was a dress code – how embarrassing!

3. 'Prove it':

Autostraddle HOT 100 2013 / Via s1.zetaboards.com

Apparently it's totally acceptable to ask someone to prove their sexuality, if they're gay. I assume that I'm supposed to walk up to the nearest, unsuspecting woman and stick my tongue down her throat? Or maybe I'm with my girlfriend, and we're supposed to give you a private viewing? This might sound crazy, but some women don't kiss other women just to turn men on...

4. 'It's just a phase':

Via theguardian.com

I always internally question the sexuality of people that say this; have they been gay for a couple of months and then overcome it, like a bad bout of the flu? Maybe I just haven't met Mr. Right yet, but when I suggest this to straight men, they get quite defensive.

5. 'Are you “butch” or “femme”?':

Scene Lesbians - The 5 Main Types / Via lotl.com

A box within a box. Why are there only two types of lesbian? Even the Spice Girls had Sporty, Baby, Posh, Scary and Ginger. Well I wear dresses, so that might be fem, but I also have several tattoos. Is there some sort of test or point scoring system that might tell me? 10 butch points for tattoos, 2 fem points for wearing a dress. Maybe it's whoever wears the strap-on, right?

6. 'I have a gay friend, you two should go out!':

Via deconstructingglee.com

It's a sweet suggestion, but sharing a sexual preference doesn't exactly mean that we're meant for each other. I'm gay; I don't fancy every single girl I meet. And if you're one of those girls that won't go to lesbian bar in case one pounces on you... you should be so lucky.

7. 'But you use strap-ons, so you're basically straight.':

Sarah Jane / Via itsmesarahjane.wordpress.com

Just no.

8. 'Have you ever had a threesome?':

Feelings on the word "dyke" - TeenHelp / Via teenhelp.org

I put these people in the 'I watch too much porn' group. Sorry lads, but most lesbians are monogamous, just like straight couples, and if they were going to have a threesome, it probably wouldn't involve a man.

9. Being introduced as the 'gay friend':

gay stereotypes / Via voicesofthewayside.wordpress.com

This can become irritating, especially when you start to feel like an accessory. Like the gay best-friend, who loves shopping and talking about boys, and goes perfectly with your new platform heels and pug.

10. 'Don't you want children?':

My sexuality is not based on my desire to reproduce. Are people only straight because they want children? If you weren't aware there are alternatives, like adoption. I'm pretty sure you could buy sperm online nowadays anyway...