oh…I get it.
Some folk think that professional politicians are innocents. Sweet things that are blameless angels come to us to lead us all out of our dark place.
d=))
How about get him to date Lorena Bobbit? I heard she had another boyfriend that made her mad and she cut his wiener off while they were flying down the highway at 70 MPH! She threw it out te window and it hit the windshield of two lil old ladies behind them.
One lady turned to the other and said, “Geez, Martha! Did you see the pecker on that bug!?” 

Rebranding himself into a condom brand would probably work. “Keep your affair out of the glare with John Edward's prophylactic wear!” At least he didn't off her. That's a positive point he should stress in interviews.

He needs to grow the public figure transition phase beard. It says, “I'm thinking about things.” Nobody will believe any rebranding pitch unless he's done some time behind a beard.

Is that… unforgivable?