Top 10 Crazy Things You Can Buy From Hammacher Schlemmer

The Hammacher Schlemmer catalog is like the Lillian Vernon catalog for the 1%. It’s full of weird, expensive junk that makes it easy for anyone to show that they have a couple million bucks to throw away. posted on

10. This Hair Regrowing Thingy

Link / Via hammacher.com

The Hands Free Hair Rejuvenator. It uses “pulsed light energy” to increase “cellular activity within hair follicles” Comes with headphones so you can’t hear the suffering in the world while you try to regrow your hair. $699.95

9. Giant Scrabble

Link / Via hammacher.com

The $12,000 you’ll spend hoping to improve junior’s spelling skills won’t work, because he won’t be able to reach it.

8. Zoltar!

Link / Via hammacher.com

Buy Zoltar for $9000 and he’ll see poverty in your future.

7. A Light Cycle

Link / Via hammacher.com

Batman won’t have nothing on you, only $55,000.

6. Life Sized Robby the Robot

Link / Via hammacher.com

A seven foot tall fully animatronic replica of Robby the Robot. A steal at $49,999.95.

5. A Flying Car

Link / Via hammacher.com

Designed by some nerds at MIT, and as the catalog listing says it’s “indispensable for easy day trips from Long Island to Martha’s Vineyard”. $350,000 The future is here, but only if you can afford it.

4. Killer Whale Submarine

Link / Via hammacher.com

A little two person submarine shaped like a whale. A snip at $100,000.

3. Another Submarine

Link / Via hammacher.com

If that whale submarine just wasn’t expensive enough for you, this one is a personal one seater equipped to give you 6 hours of “undersea adventures”. $2,000,000

2. PT-728

Link / Via hammacher.com

You heard me! A 66 year old WWII torpedo boat only $1,000,000. Torpedoes not included, what a rip off!!

1. A Mother F@#king Triceratops!

Link / Via hammacher.com

A 20 foot long working model of a triceratops that moves, makes noise with “lifelike reactions”! $350,000 Bling!

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