Desperate Radiohead Fans Make Offers For Tickets On Craigslist

Did you get Radiohead tickets for one of their two surprise shows this week in New York? Most fans didn't, forcing them onto Craigslist to made ridiculous offers. Now if I told you I had an extra ticket, how much of your dignity would you be willing to give me for it?

• 1. Will Trade For Panties

  

  Is it alright if the panties have a knot in the side after the elastic came out?

• 2. Will Trade Antique Gun

  

• 3. Will Trade For Flesh

  

• 4. Will Trade For Jeff Buckley Tickets

  

  While you're at it, bring back Grandma and my dog from heaven. *sob*

• 5. Will Trade For First Born Child

  

  But it costs hundreds of thousands to raise a kid. What a crap deal.

• 6. Will Trade For Miu Miu

  

  I bet this guy will really miss not having his wife with him at the show.

• 7. Will Trade For Freedom To "Play God"

  

  It doesn't look like psychokinetic powers are on the table though. Pfft, pass.

• 8. Will Trade For Insanity And Bitterness

  

  Can I do "The Stranger" instead?

• 9. Will Trade For Sob Story

  

  Did you say a tragic car accident? I thought we were talking about one of those regular fatal accidents. That's extra sad, bro.

• 10. Will Trade For A Night With Your Wife

  

• 11. Will Trade For Least Disgusting Offer

  

  But, you know, will still settle for a kind of disgusting offer.

• 12. Will Trade For Pretty Glasses

  

  I'm a hardcore fan but oooohhhh designer labels!

• 13. Will Trade For "Love"

  

  Ohh, and "party favors"! Yay! It'll be like a rapey birthday!

• 14. Will Trade For Soul