• 1. Will Trade For Panties

    Will Trade For Panties

    Is it alright if the panties have a knot in the side after the elastic came out?

  • 2. Will Trade Antique Gun

    Will Trade Antique Gun

  • 3. Will Trade For Flesh

    Will Trade For Flesh

  • 4. Will Trade For Jeff Buckley Tickets

    Will Trade For Jeff Buckley Tickets

    While you’re at it, bring back Grandma and my dog from heaven. *sob*

  • 5. Will Trade For First Born Child

    Will Trade For First Born Child

    But it costs hundreds of thousands to raise a kid. What a crap deal.

  • 6. Will Trade For Miu Miu

    Will Trade For Miu Miu

    I bet this guy will really miss not having his wife with him at the show.

  • 7. Will Trade For Freedom To “Play God”

    Will Trade For Freedom To "Play God"

    It doesn’t look like psychokinetic powers are on the table though. Pfft, pass.

  • 8. Will Trade For Insanity And Bitterness

    Will Trade For Insanity And Bitterness

    Can I do “The Stranger” instead?

  • 9. Will Trade For Sob Story

    Will Trade For Sob Story

    Did you say a tragic car accident? I thought we were talking about one of those regular fatal accidents. That’s extra sad, bro.

  • 10. Will Trade For A Night With Your Wife

    Will Trade For A Night With Your Wife

  • 11. Will Trade For Least Disgusting Offer

    Will Trade For Least Disgusting Offer

    But, you know, will still settle for a kind of disgusting offer.

  • 12. Will Trade For Pretty Glasses

    Will Trade For Pretty Glasses

    I’m a hardcore fan but oooohhhh designer labels!

  • 13. Will Trade For “Love”

    Will Trade For "Love"

    Ohh, and “party favors”! Yay! It’ll be like a rapey birthday!

  • 14. Will Trade For Soul

    Will Trade For Soul