Facts About Abraham Lincoln That You Didn’t Know (Because They’re Not True)

Happy 205th birthday, Honest Abe (you’re looking great)! It’s pretty apparent that our community loves Mr. Lincoln, as he appears in more Threadless designs than any other U.S. President. To celebrate his big day, we did a bit of research and uncovered five completely baseless facts about our 16th President. And by research, we mean we just made all of this stuff up. That’s how you research, right?

Abraham Lincoln Eradicated The Dinosaurs

“Abraham” by Alex Solis

That’s right, Mr. Lincoln single-handedly killed off every last dinosaur with his bare hands. Forget what you heard about that meteor, it was all just a government cover-up to hide the fact that time traveling presidents are a real thing.

Abraham Lincoln’s Hat Concealed Two Pistols

“Abe” by Joe Carr

You think that iconic top hat was just part of Lincoln’s swagger? Think again. That towering top hat actually harbored two powerful pistols with extended barrels for ultimate bad-assery. Too bad he took his hat off at the theater…

Abraham Lincoln Paid For Everything With Pennies

“Penny Farthing” by Eric Fan

Why did they put Abraham Lincoln on the penny? It wasn’t because he was the cheapest of all the presidents, it was because he was the biggest practical joker! Abe loved to pay for everything with the smallest coins possible. In fact, he was once kicked out of a horse race for placing bets with loose change! What a jokester!

Abraham Lincoln Loved Video Games

“A Link to the Past” by Mike Mitchell

He didn’t know it at the time, but he did. Just trust us.

Abraham Lincoln Loved The Fist Bump, Bro

“Fist Bump for Liberty” by Michael Bancroft

Keg stands, frat parties, ultimate frisbee, UFC - Abraham Lincoln was the original bro. In fact, back at the fraternity, all of Abe’s buddies used to call him “Aye, Broham!”