1. James Franco
Existing Survival Skills: James Franco will probably just help chisel away any rocks that get in the way of life or death. He might also get stuck between rocks sometimes, providing solid entertainment for the rest of the world’s population.
Secret Weapon: Just give him a knife and make sure he has three stable limbs on the ground at any given time.
2. Seth Rogen
Existing Survival Skills: Thanks to his bulls-eye target practice in Knocked Up, in the event of an apocalypse we’re convinced Seth Rogen should be in charge of re-populating the world with crime-fighting babies.
Secret Weapon: He will pass on the ginger gene, creating a dark army of ginger soldiers.
3. Mindy Kaling
Existing Survival Skills: Mindy will be there to help deliver all of Seth’s children as an OBGYN. This will clearly be her personal “Mindy Project”.
Secret Weapon: She will most likely take over the world with her brains and charm, literally becoming “Queen of the World.”
4. Danny McBride
Existing Survival Skills: Danny’s got a baseball bat and he’s not afraid to use it, Kenny Powers-style.
Secret Weapon: He will also be sure to carry the legacy of the mullet into the new world.
5. Michael Cera
Existing Survival Skills: Michael Cera will stick around to be shy and cute as usual, probably acting as bait for well thought out motorcycle gang traps.
Secret Weapon: His boyish face.
6. Jonah Hill
Existing Survival Skills: Jonah’s experience in pretending to be a teenager will help him befriend apocalyptic, murderous, zombie skateboarders.
Secret Weapon: Jonah’s coolness and good hair will distract thieves and scoundrels, making him the perfect bodyguard for the future Royal Family of the World.
7. Craig Robinson
Existing Survival Skills: Charming the pants off apocalyptic ladies, seduction at its finest.
Secret Weapon: Craig’s smile will literally light up entire rooms until someone re-invents electricity. It could also blind potential radioactive zombies, which we know is going to happen.
8. Emma Watson
Existing Survival Skills: She isn’t exactly a witch, but she’s really good at convincing people she could cast a spell on them.
Secret Weapon: Emma will probably be the smartest person alive following the apocalypse. Future civilians will probably be able to attribute hover cars and delicious food capsules to her detailed scientific research.
9. Paul Rudd
Existing Survival Skill and Secret Weapon: Look at that face, it’s the most dangerous weapon in the apocalyptic universe.