1. You’re surprisingly uncoordinated.
It’s surprising because at first you seem really coordinated.
2. And really bad at fleeing.
Which is literally an instinct, just maybe not for you.
3. You also lose your nerve when faced with danger.
…but danger always wins.
4. And you don’t care when it’s go-time. You prefer to sleep.
5. You prefer sleeping so much, you do it literally anywhere.
Such as on your getaway vehicle.
6. Meaning, manning the info hub would be a no-go for you.
AKA, you simply cannot be relied on to do anything of true value in the end times.
7. There is NO chance you can handle food rations.
Stockpiling food equals eating all of your favorite snacks in one sitting.
8. Also, getting up is not your favorite.
In fact, it’s your least favorite—so you just don’t do it.
9. And your disguise techniques are laughably unprofessional.
Trying to be someone else will not save your soul.
10. Even when you think you’re the man, you’re still totally unlucky.
11. Also, this is you when looking fear in the eye.
12. And your planning skills are really questionable.
Or, perhaps you just don’t give a f*$@.
13. End of the world? Meh.
Does not caring make you the worst in a disaster or actually THE BEST?