1. When you are 8: You wait in bed for your mom/dad to take your temperature
Of course, when I was 8, parents didn’t use iPhones to do this.
2. When you are 28: You don’t even bother to take your temperature; You know you’re sick because you feel like shit.
3. When you are 8: Your mom/dad calls the school for you while you get some much-needed sleep.
4. When you are 28: You drag yourself out of bed to call your boss, making sure to sound extra sick so they don’t think you’re lying. Your boss thinks you’re lying anyway and chews you out.
Yay real job!
5. When you are 8: You spend the first half of the day lounging and watching shows like Rugrats
6. When you are 28: You spend the first half of the day lounging and watching Netflix.
7. When you are 8: The snotty tissues scattered around your bed magically disappear.
8. When you are 28: The snotty tissues around your bed keep piling up unless you throw them out.
9. When you are 8: You play gameboy in the doctor’s office waiting room.
10. When you are 28: You play Candy Crush in the doctor’s office waiting room
11. When you are 8: You get a lollipop after you see the doctor.
12. When you are 28: You get a bill for the copay after you see the doctor.
13. When you are 8: You hang out and play sega channel while your parents go get your prescription.
14. When you are 28: You die of boredom while waiting on line at the pharmacy for what feels like 15 hours. Then, to add insult to injury, you have to pay an outrageous cost for the medicine.
15. When you are 8: Your mom/dad makes you whatever you want for dinner because you’re sick
16. When you are 28: You feel too sick to make anything on your own so you end up just eating something unhealthy because it’s easier.
I suggest Funfetti frosting.
17. When you are 8: You spend the night doing the schoolwork that you missed during the day as well as the homework that’s due tomorrow.
At least that’s what you did if you had *those* kinds of parents—the ones that would go to the school and pick up the busywork dittos your class did during the day and the homework that was assigned that day as well.
18. When you are 28: You spend the night doing any necessary chores before you plop down in front of the computer and start opening a million tabs on BuzzFeed.
19. When you are 8: You go to sleep dreading your return to a glorified prison—school.
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