You get up one weekend morning and you’re in a rare mood…a cleaning mood. You’re amped up to start cleaning. You think it’s going to be like this…
But you’re wrong. Cleaning is a horrid, soul-withering experience, and here’s why:
1. Moving around all your stuff just to clean your other stuff.
2. Hitting a wall of exhaustion after cleaning like two things.
3. Opening the Clorox wipes only to see that the top wipe isn’t sticking out! Now you have to open the whole container and pull the top wipe out manually, getting sticky, likely toxic cleaning fluid all over your hands. Gross!
4. Getting sucked into a BuzzFeed hole when it’s time to dust off your keyboard and mouse. I mean you’re right in front of the computer, why NOT check BuzzFeed? It’ll only cost you an hour or two…
5. Having an annoying two-piece vacuum.
6. Dragging said vacuum up the stairs and then back down the stairs.
On second thought, maybe you’ll just leave it in your room until someone needs it—then they can come up and get it themselves.
7. When your vacuum stops working because it’s clogged with hair and dust. Eww.
9. Kicking up a bunch of dust from all the cleaning and only managing to irritate your allergies for all your efforts. Now you can’t stop sneezing and you still have tons of cleaning to do!
10. Getting totally psyched to try a new cleaning product only to find out it doesn’t work anywhere near as well as advertised.
I bought a Go Duster™ once. It sucked. It basically just spun the dust off the surface of whatever you were dusting straight into the air.
11. Cleaning out the fridge—it’s so dirty you’re paranoid that Gordon Ramsay himself will come down and yell at you for your crimes against food.
12. When you remember that the dust in your room is a combination of your own dead skin, insect feces, dirt, and other things.
13. When you’re all done sweeping but a large percentage of the crumbs and other debris WILL NOT be swept into the dustpan no matter how hard you try.
Thanks for nothing, dustpan brush.