1. Everyone who hears that you’re “straightedge” automatically assumes that you look like this or hang out with people who look like this.
2. Hearing countless promises to “get you SO DRUNK” every time that someone hears you’re straightedge. Every. Time.
3. The one person who’s waiting for you to “fail” at being straightedge.
4. When people raise the point that the fast food you eat is just as bad (if not worse) than drugs or alcohol.
They’re right but Taco Bell is just too good.
7. The constant clock-watching at these gatherings—counting down the seconds until it’s over.
8. Chauffeuring your friends around some nights because they know that you’ll be sober.
No, it’s OK. People who don’t drink or smoke spend their entire Friday and Saturday nights just sitting by their phones waiting for drunk texts. It’s fine if they need a ride home, but when they want to you drive them from party to party/bar to bar, it gets to be insulting.
9. Being lumped in with straightedge movement dogma even if you don’t believe it.
Some people just like doing other stuff besides drinking and smoking. That doesn’t mean they’re some kind of ideologue.
10. Constantly being called “boring” or “lame” or any other insult because you don’t enjoy what other people enjoy.
11. When people tell you that you’re only straightedge because you’ve never had the fun of drinking or recreational drugs.
Not true. I did everything the other kids did in high school and then chose not to.
12. Dealing with people who treat you like a kid because you don’t drink or otherwise make light of it like it’s a “phase” or something.
13. When someone who knows you’re straightedge asks you if want a drink in the most condescending manner possible to annoy you.
14. Everybody thinking you worship this guy.
ICYDK, that’s famed straightedge pro wrestler CM Punk.