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The Completely Non-Ironic DIY Guide To Being A Hipster

Follow these steps and you’ll be cooler than a cucumber on ice, covered in snow. Or just a Portlandia skit waiting to happen.

1. Set the mood with a homemade PBR-can lamp.

Artist Gerrard Paschke made this lamp out of PBR cans and tabs. It’s an easy way to show your friends you’re cultured but don’t mind drinking beer that’s 99% water.

2. Or fill one of your (many) Mason jars with a photograph and preserve it with vegetable oil!

3. Unless you’ve got something better to stick in your Mason jar.

4. Come to think of it, there’s a lot of stuff you can stick in a Mason jar…

Baked Corn Dogs in Mason Jars

3 cups yellow self-rising corn meal mix
6 eggs
¼ cup oil
1½ cups milk
½ cup sour cream
¾ cup sugar
6 hot dogs, cut in half

5. ZOMG.

Om nom nom nom polite jar pies!

6. Next you have to hem and sew your hideous wide-legged jeans into socially acceptable skinnies.

7. Or put bleach into a spray bottle and spray the crap out of your jeans.

8. Or just off the legs completely and add frilly lace!

9. Draw on a pair of white shoes instead of blowing all of the money you made being gainfully unemployed.

10. But “Adventure Time,” tho…

11. SHOE-PIDERMAN

12. If all this drawing is making you hungry, use any of your cheap booze to make beer bread.

13. Just make sure not to get any crumbs in your rockin’ mustache.

14. FEAR NOT. A recipe for homemade mustache wax is a thing that exists.

Just need a little beeswax and coconut oil. Oh, and an incredible mustache.

15. You’re going to need to take a couple of selfies with your homemade Spam-can pinhole camera.

SPAMera. How did I not think of that first? I hope it’s Instagram compatible.

16. You can make a camera out of an egg?! Some men just want to see the world burn.

17. Sites like ZenniOptical.com will sell you rockin’ hipster glasses for under $40!

18. Skrillex approves.

19. Meanwhile, you can buy skinny jeans for $20 at 20jeans.com.

20. Do a little DIY screen-printing to make those ironic T-shirts you love oh-so-much.

You will need:

Old tights (stockings/hosiery)
Mod Podge glue
Fabric paint or normal paint, depending on what you’re printing onto
An embroidery hoop
Some card
A Sharpie
A paintbrush for your glue
And a paintbrush for your paint

21. Finally, make your own tattoo gun and tat your friends up.

22. COME ON. Totally joking. You don’t want to end up like this guy.

Wait. Do you?

23. Tattoos are pretty sweet, though.

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