The 5 Stages Of Submitting An Assignment

Okay, you’re about to submit the assignment you’ve been working on for like a month straight (day AND night)… so, take a deep breath, and possibly a shot of something alcoholic, because this is going to be stressful.

5. 5 minutes before…

This stage is also known as ‘PANIC STATIONS’. You are typing so fast your fingers are practically stumps, and both your mind and body are relying purely on all that Red Bull you just downed and the entire packet of energy tablets you dry swallowed just to keep you upright.

4. ACTUALLY SUBMITTING IT (AKA: YAYYYYYYYY).

This is the stage where you finally part with the beast that has ruined your social life for the last 30 days (‘cause, you know, you definitely had one before it came along) and caused you to silently weep yourself to sleep every night for the past week… As they say in Spain; ADIOS, SUCKER.

3. 30 seconds later…

But wait… I totally forgot to write about *insert relevant theorist/author/scholar here*. This stage can also be referred to as the ‘NOW I’M DOUBTING EVERYTHING I’VE WRITTEN’ phase. Oh god, I AM SO GOING TO FAIL.

2. After you’ve had a good cry over your impending failure, IT’S TIME… TO DRINK.

At this stage, you are raiding the fridge for anything with the word vodka/sambuca/tequila on it, whilst simultaneously texting all of your friends, inviting them over to freakin’ partaaay now that the world is your oyster once again…

1. Aaaaaaaand finally…

… What’s that? ALL my friends are asleep?! But guys, didn’t you hear? It’s freakin’ PARTY TIME… Actually, now that you mention it, I haven’t slept in 5 whole days, and hell, I deserve this… Wake me up next semester.

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