Brian R.: I understand that you want to disconnect, but I need to ask a few questions. What are you wearing right now? You: Your mom Brian R.: Did you know Comcast can get you five or six times better service than any other company? Any. Other. Company. You: Your mom gets me 10 times better service. Brian R.: Is the #1 Internet service provider just not good enough for you? You: Not when I have your mom Brian R.: Look, I’m just trying to understand why you want slower Internet speeds when you could have the best service in the whole world. You: I get the best service in the whole universe….from your mom Brian R.: Wait… this is about that Internet service provider down the street, isn’t it? You: Well, I did find your mom on the street Brian R.: Are you honestly telling me that this new provider satisfies you more than the #1 ISP in the country? You: Satisfies. YES. Brian R.: Does this other ISP make you laugh? You: Depends on what service I’m getting at the moment WELL that was fun for a minute.