THIS MADE ME LOL SO MUCH!

At a bar and grill one day, a beautiful young lady was sitting at a table having some lunch when a couple of back woods, still/moonshine runners came in for a beer. They were enjoying themselves when suddenly the woman started looking around frantically, and seeing the rednecks, held her hands to her throat giving a classic “I'm choking” sign… and the one fellow stood up, rushed to her side and asked…”Are you choking, lady?” and she signaled yes.
Well, he turned her away from himself and pushed her chest down on the table and reached up her dress, pulled down her panties and licked her butt crack three or four times really fast, and she was so flustered that she spit up a huge piece of sandwich.
Without waiting for a thank you, he went back to his table where his friend said, “Homer! I sure am glad I came with you to the bar, today. I had heard of that there 'Hind Lick' maneuver, but had never seen it before.”

If only they had steak-scented billboards.