Zombie Pet Apocalypse

Reaching the disturbing realization that my pet would eat me if given the chance. I searched "would my pet eat me" on Google and came across this thread from the StraightDope.com forums: http://bit.ly/OGwQPM I learned something very disturbing. That a pet cat will eat its dead owner. Elvis jumped up on the couch last night after I learned of this disturbing news, and it was quite awkward. Then he squinted his eyes - you know, a cats way of saying, "I love you." - and I was like, "don't give me that bull$hit, you psychopath!" This has changed everything now. You think I'll let him lick my hand now? F$*k no. I used to think he was grooming me - like, cleaning me, you know? Turns out he's been sampling. He started kneading my belly as I tried to fall asleep and I kicked him out! "I'm still alive mother f�$ker!" Tenderizing my meat. Pet lizards eat owner. http://bit.ly/moniterlizards Isabelle Dinoire - First person to undergo a partial face transplant http://bbc.in/Dinoire

Greko Sketch Kevin MacLeod (incompetech) Licensed under Creative Commons "Attribution 3.0″ http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/