What 25 Normal Things Look Like To Clumsy People

I’m fine, seriously, don’t help me up. This is just my life.

1. The Beyoncé Strut.

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I had it for a second there…

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No, it’s fine, I don’t need to hold her. SERIOUSLY.

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So relaxin — skdljflkjaowehzbnsd

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It was slippery to begin with, it isn’t my fault that it was already slippery.

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5. Getting dressed up for Halloween.

6. Making a smooth exit.

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Oops, didn’t see that there, it doesn’t even make sense for that to be there.

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7. Popping in a breath mint.

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Why do they wrap the container in plastic? It’s like they want me to…come ON…

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8. Working out.

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Bruises burn calories, right? RIGHT?!

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9. Revolving doors.

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10. Escalators.

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NOPE NOPE NOPE.

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11. Looking effortlessly sexy by the pool.

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Who put that there? I tripped over a…who put that thing there?

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12. High heels.

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13. Sword fighting.

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Sorry, let me just grab that, one sec.

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Home at last, and now — IT’S FINE, I’M FINE.

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15. Feminism.

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Just give me a Band-Aid, I’m on my way to vote.

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16. Jumping off a diving board.

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I’m not drowning, no one panic.

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17. Giving a toast.

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To the bride and gr — it’ll wash out, carry on. As you were, everyone.

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I’m faking it, I’m trying to fake out the other team — see? You totally fell for it.

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19. Flirting.

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Wanna come over here and hold an ice pack against my knee? Mmmmmmmyeah.

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20. Playing in the snow.

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I really need to buy more rock salt for the sidewalk.

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Oh, oh wow, can someone grab some paper towels?

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22. Grocery shopping.

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Meant to do that. Joke’s on all of you.

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23. Chest bumping.

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Yeah, bro! Oh, boy…

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24. Getting ready to go to a party.

I’M SO EXCITE — ow.

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25. Waking up in the morning.

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A new day, a new injury.

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