2. You’re in pretty constant contact with Alcohol, you always know where it’s hanging out so you guys can meet up later.
3. You spend most of your weeknights and weekends with Alcohol.
4. You’re even willing to change your plans last-minute for Alcohol.
5. When you go out, Alcohol is always your dance partner.
6. You’ve definitely lost out on possible hookups because Alcohol was around.
7. Maybe because you and Alcohol make out a lot.
10. And your friends just love Alcohol.
12. Actually, Alcohol was your date to the office Christmas party last year.
14. You pretty much hate going to any kind of social event without Alcohol.
15. And Alcohol never ditches you at parties.
16. You’re even considering asking Alcohol to come home with you for the holidays this year.
17. You and Alcohol have known each other for a while now, you’re comfortable around one another.
18. You’re past the awkward phase, you don’t have to worry about table manners anymore.
19. When you guys go to the beach together, Alcohol doesn’t judge your one-piece bathing suit.
20. Sometimes, you and Alcohol act like an old married couple. You’re totally fine with staying in and hanging out.
21. And just like an old married couple, Alcohol keeps nagging you to go to the eye doctor.
22. Alcohol has never asked you to do a trust fall, but if it did, you’d be down.
23. Sometimes you have nightmares about a life without Alcohol.
24. When you see Alcohol hanging out with other people without you, you get really jealous.
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›