1. “Do not mock the neckbeard, human. The neckbeard has warded off many teeth during this lifetime.”
3. “I may be among the last of my kind, but I will never bear the weight of a collar, or the humiliation of a master. Never will I wear a doggie sweater.”
4. “This will be the single most important portrait you ever paint. Focus, human.”
5. “That’s my cousin on TV. We’re all rooting for you out here, Rufus.”
6. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m kind of a big deal in the states…”
12. “The crocodile stood no chance. Take me to Lake Placid. I’ll end that one too.”
14. “That puny hole you dug back there, human? I made it better.”
18. “I did it! I graduated! Where’s the treat? Can I have the treat now?”
20. “They said our love was impossible. That it wouldn’t last. They were wrong.”
24. “My agent just called. I’m all set for War Horse 2. It’s going to directed by this guy named Michael Bay. You probably haven’t heard of him…”
25. “Look, I just tossed my uncle off a burning cliff (thereby reclaiming my throne), then orchestrated a kingdom wide dance party, after which I sired a cub worthy of front page r/aww. Any questions?”
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