The 10 Most Typical Reactions Expressed About The End Of The Baby Bonus

The Australian government recently announced that it will be scrapping its decade long policy of paying mothers $5000 each time they gave birth. It was met with mixed emotions, most of them like this. (NOTE: Comedic post.)

1. Parts of Western Sydney experienced an immediate local recession as a result of cancelled HD 3DTV orders.

Samsung might need to watch its stock market share prices.

2. Conversely, condom sales in these areas have skyrocketed.

3. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I’M NO LONGER COMPENSATED FOR LABOUR!?”

4. Don’t panic. We’ve got until March 1, 2014. BUT DUE DATE, SORRY ‘BOUT IT.

5. Now I have to pay for nappies/daipers and formula MYSELF.

6. WE DON’T KNOW WHO TO BLAME. Better start irrationally targeting foreigners for unjustifiable reasons. DER TOOK ‘ER JERBS.

7. Better try and stock up on some cribs from Ikea now.

8. I’m going to have to get them to enter the workforce earlier than I planned.

9. How did people have children before 2002!?

HOW ARE WE GOING TO HAVE CHILDREN AFTER 2014!?

10. MY LUCRATIVE CAREER OF BEING A PROFESSIONAL OVEN IS OVER.

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