29 Signs That You Have Lived In Sydney For Too Damn Long

Sydney isn’t all about the harbour and Opera House.

1. When the tourists who come to Sydney stare in awe at the harbour bridge, you’re just stuck in traffic trying to get over the thing on your way home from work.

2. When the Sydney Harbour Tunnel closes. While you’re still in it. And you just casually chill in your car like you’re about to live the life of Sylvester Stallone in ‘Daylight’

3. You know that your beautiful brake foot is going to get a work out on Victoria Road this morning!

4. You show genuine shock and horror when Vic Lorusso doesn’t mention gridlock in the M5 airport tunnel during the morning radio traffic report

5. When you pay inflated rent prices for a small apartment in the world’s third most expensive city.

6. You’re accustomed to traffic in the world’s second most car dependant city, period.

7. Your reaction when you ask somebody which part of Sydney they are from and they reply with “Gosford”

(BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW GOSFORD ISN’T A PART OF SYDNEY.)

8. You know to avoid Bondi and Manly on a hot summers day.

9. You know to go to Little Manly, Collins or Coogee instead.

10. The CityRail train is scheduled to arrive in 5 minutes? Better casually get to the station 10 minutes after schedule just to be on the safe side.

11. Unless a tree branch falls onto a communications wire, crippling the entire CityRail network (again), in which case…

12. …better try to get on a State Transit Authority Bus!

13. We know to stock up on Pre-pay only State Transit tickets like an extreme couponer, because 7-11 will ALWAYS be sold out.

14. Centrepoint Tower, which became AMP Tower, which became Westfield Tower, which became Sydney Tower… THE NEEDLE TOWER THAT FEATURES ON FINDING NEMO. THAT THING.

15. Our reaction when an American tourist cracks a ‘42 Wallaby Way, Sydney’ joke.

(NOTE: There isn’t actually a Wallaby Way in Sydney.)

16. We know we’re the most urbanised country on earth, with more skyscrapers per capita compared to population size anywhere on earth…

17. …but we still love to trick American’s into thinking we ride kangaroo’s to work or school.

(Because when our cars break down, that’s what we totally do.)

18. You know to go to Chatswood for the world’s best dumplings. And 100¥ bargains.

19. You know that Chinatown is fucking awesome.

20. Driving into Mount Druitt?

21. Everyone on Oxford Street is FAB-U-LOUS.

(Complete with syllable finger snaps.)

22. You know that Surry Hills is really ‘Slurry Hills’ and Darlinghurst is pronounced ‘Dahhhh-linghurst’…

23. …Unless you got addicted to watching ‘Underbelly: Razor’, in which case it will always be ‘Razorhurst’.

24. You’ve become immune to the hilarious placard personal advertisements which line the Serpentine between Newport and Avalon.

25. “What’s for dinner, Mum?”

“FUCKIN’ KAN TONG!”

26. You know that North and East Sydney have less street gangs, and more ‘suburb cliques’.

(and they all go to Stereosonic.)

27. You don’t like to admit if you come from ‘The Shire’…

28. …Unless you’re a loud and proud ‘nulla boy!

“STRAYA!”

29. We know we live in the most beautiful city on earth.

DESPITE WHAT MELBOURNE SAYS.

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