1. You Know How To Pay A Bill
And it still makes you feel like a proper grown-up. Every time.
2. You’re So Freaking Good At Maths
And when I say ‘maths’, I mean ‘working out to the penny what you owe for last night’s takeaway’.
3. You Can Take A Drink (Or Two)
You go home for the summer and there’s a noticeable difference in the drinking abilities of students and non-students. Weak-ass bitches.
4. …And The Hangovers? Easy.
You’ve drunk so much, so often, you know exactly how to sort yourself the next day- even if that is just sleeping and whining about how much it hurts. Pass the bacon.
5. You Can Sniff A Bargain At 100 Paces
A life skill you will cherish forever.
6. You Refuse To Pay Over The Odds
£5 for a vodka and coke? You must be joking. What deals have you got on?
7. You Know How To Get A Balanced Diet
Bacon is the food of the Gods, made even more covetable by the fact it’s surprisingly expensive. Same goes for cheese. That’s two of your five-a-day covered…right?
8. You Appreciate The Little Things
You threw a tissue at the bin and it WENT IN. Day made, and no money spent. Winner.
9. You’re Awesome At Layering
Do your worst, Winter. The heating ain’t going on until I see my breath.
10. …And You’re Great At Theme Nights
There’s GOT to be a decent Halloween costume in my room somewhere…
11. You Can Totally Work Out A Fuse Box
Ok, so a switch tripped that time and you managed to blunder about in the dark and press buttons until it was fixed. Shut up.
12. …And You’re An Expert At Flat-Pack Furniture
I’ve got mad skills, and yes, they are going on my CV.
18. Because Even When You’re Old And Boring
Sorry, I meant ‘old and AWESOME’.