If the President speaks at the same time as Cantor, how are people going to get the super-important big news that the GOP plans to keep selling the same inedible crap in an exciting new package?

All these years, I’ve unfairly confused CNN for a news network.

It’s official: everyone on the Romney campaign is both an eight-year-old child and a prick.

Rick’s on a gaffe roll. First he tells Puerto Ricans to speak English, now he’s telling Illinois voters they all screwed up.

When Obama took office, gas prices were artificially low. We’d just had a global economic meltdown and demand was through the floor. We could bring prices down the same way Bush did — by blowing up the world economy — but I don’t think that’s a very good idea.