10 Unicorn-Themed Household Items You Didn't Know You Were Empty Without

My inner adult sucks. It's partially because adulting in general sucks, and partially because I'm not good at it. But my inner child is awesome. My inner child says "be a 30-something, grown-ass woman and decorate your house in unicorns. And give ZERO FUCKS about it." And that makes all the adulting a little easier to swallow. So to that end, here are 10 unicorn-themed items for your home that you never even knew you needed. I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way that your life is woefully incomplete because you don't have a unicorn shower curtain. But at least now you can get one and be whole.

1. Unicorn Clock

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Because what time is it? You don't know. You just looked at your phone three times and still forgot to remember the time. But unicorns, they ALWAYS know what time it is.

2. A unicorn coat hook.

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Because what are you going to do? Put your coat on a hanger? Psh. It's like I don't even know you anymore.

3. Unicorn Wine Glasses

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You drink a lot of wine. I already know. But there's a little-known law of the universe that says you never have to feel deep shame if you drink three bottles of wine out of a unicorn wine glass. You might want to keep that to yourself, tho. I'm not judging you, but the word is a harsh place.

4. Unicorn Shower Curtain

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You know you live in fear of psycho killers or floating clown heads creeping up your shower. Why live like that when you could feel safe in the knowledge that you're only showering with a mystical unicorn? Plus, that whole horn thing will keep you safe.

5. Stained Glass Unicorn Art

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Stained glass unicorn art? I don't know. Because you're fucking classy and everyone knows it. That's why.

6. Unicorn Throw Pillows

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Unicorn throw pillows have been scientifically proven to mask the body odor you accumulate when you watch Netflix all weekend in the same underwear and eat pizza rolls off of your nice dishes.

7. Personalized Unicorn Towel

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Unicorn towel. WITH YOUR NAME ON IT. Because when you're at the beach or the pool or the gym, you don't want someone to confuse their unicorn towel with your unicorn towel. Legit.

8. Unicorn Light Switch Cover

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Unicorn light switch covers just add that little touch of whimsy that says "one day this room will be filled with cats and I'm looking forward to it." Party!

9. Unicorn Duvet Cover

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Because you're the kind of adult who buys pillow cases for your blankets and then calls them "duvets" and I kind of feel bad for you. SO at least get one with an awesome magical creature on it.

10. Unicorn Kitchen Towels

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Because you don't want to live in a world where your kitchen towels have fruit or something on them, do you? Eew, dude.

11. Bonus! Unicorn Toothbrush Holder

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Because the fact that there's FECAL MATTER ON EVERYTHING (it's science) doesn't seem so bad when you keep your toothbrush in the skull cavity of a unicorn.