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How To Milk A Goat In 14 Steps

In order to get the full experience at the Texas Department of Agriculture, our intern was invited to learn how to milk a goat.

Eric Tippit, co-owner of Caprino Royale Dairy Farm with his wife Karen, showed our intern how to milk one of his goats.

Earl Lundquist

1. Put on gloves.

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2. Make sure to look nervous.

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It puts the goats at ease.

3. Empathize with the goat a little.

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“Sorry, friend. I know it’s cold.”

4. Now you have to test the milk. It’s gonna be okay.

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*DON’T PULL DOWN*

5. “It’s all going back up?!”

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Have a professional demonstrate.

6. “OMG IT WORKS”

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It turns out you’re supposed to squeeze and roll down.

7. Here’s where it gets tricky. You have to put the auto-milkers on at the SAME TIME.

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“Excuse me.”

8. If you get it on the first try, you’re allowed to be pleased with yourself.

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Good job, you.

9. Now you wait.

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10. Wait some more.

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Don’t let the milkers creep back up the teats.

11. Take off the milkers.

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Try not to look too crazy as you do it. People might be taking pictures of you.

12. Test the milk again.

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Be absurdly happy about it.

13. Disinfect her teats again.

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Remember too late that the spray goes upward. Oops.

14. YOU MILKED A GOAT

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Goats are amazing.

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