Eric Tippit, co-owner of Caprino Royale Dairy Farm with his wife Karen, showed our intern how to milk one of his goats.
1. Put on gloves.
2. Make sure to look nervous.
It puts the goats at ease.
3. Empathize with the goat a little.
“Sorry, friend. I know it’s cold.”
4. Now you have to test the milk. It’s gonna be okay.
*DON’T PULL DOWN*
5. “It’s all going back up?!”
Have a professional demonstrate.
6. “OMG IT WORKS”
It turns out you’re supposed to squeeze and roll down.
7. Here’s where it gets tricky. You have to put the auto-milkers on at the SAME TIME.
8. If you get it on the first try, you’re allowed to be pleased with yourself.
Good job, you.
9. Now you wait.
10. Wait some more.
Don’t let the milkers creep back up the teats.
11. Take off the milkers.
Try not to look too crazy as you do it. People might be taking pictures of you.
12. Test the milk again.
Be absurdly happy about it.
13. Disinfect her teats again.
Remember too late that the spray goes upward. Oops.
14. YOU MILKED A GOAT
Goats are amazing.
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