The Carl's Jr. Diet (With Proof That It Works)

How I Plan To Bed Adam Levine, And (many) Other High Ranking Celebs

Since I now officially moonlight as a self appointed, part time, West Coast aficionado, I have taken it upon myself to highlight some of the important staples, trends, and on goings particular to the left coast of the great United States.

One of these said staples is Carl's Jr. a fast-food burger restaurant chain. Newest to endorse the chain is supermodel Nina Agdal, seen below. She is rumored to be the next Kate Upton, and as a recent Google search shows, is currently courting Adam Levine.

Pictured below is Agdal on a Tuesday, as she inconspicuously chomps on a burger while sitting on a rock, in the middle of a vacant beach. (Personally, I do this Wednesdays.)

Now my question is this: Just how many Carl's Jr. burgers do I have to consume to get vagina dimples to look like that? (My trainer is repulsed by this terminology and tells me the appropriate word for this is thigh gap. Also, when I say my trainer, I really am just referring to my friend who trains other people. Come on guys. Broke. Bored. Lazy.)

But, anyway. Seriously. Talk about false advertising. If there were any relation to maintaining a great physique and consuming fast food, my vag dimps would have dimples of their own. In fact, I consumed enough Carl's Jr. this past weekend alone to secure a steady relationship with all of Maroon 5, and probably the cast of "The Voice" too.

For reference my actual order was this: mozzarella sticks, curly fries, regular fries, breakfast sandwich, chicken sandwich, large soda, cheeseburger. Don't worry… this wasn't all for me. I shared it with my friend (who nibbled on a couple of French fries before promptly passing out).

To make matters worse, the first time we placed the order, the attendant didn't hear us so we had to go back through the drive through. I should also mention we were in a cab, which could potentially add to the embarrassment, but at least we weren't drinking and driving.

This brings me to my final note. As it is common among friends and family in today's day and age to set nutrition goals and retire them well before they've produced any effect, I have decided to embark on a nutrition journey of my own and document the success and the probable failures along the way.

Summer 2013: The year of the Vag Dimps.