1. Welcome, leadies and jents!
2. Gents, you may wash your hands here.
3. How about a quick launch?
4. I’d like mine without cheese, thanks.
5. Chaineeeeeeeese takeout?
6. Moms makes the best moms.
7. EVERYTHING IS SO TESTY! YUM!
8. Past food is the best food!
9. Beep steak, medium rare.
10. Mmm, free cock.
11. Or maybe something stronger.
12. Nothing, NOTHING like a child bear to wash it all down.
13. For all you health freaks.
14. Room for dessert?
16. Foot in the mouth.
17. These guys will taste anything. ANYTHING.
18. Full Body Masaz.
19. Cut your child here.
20. Get your eybro perched.
21. Be careful. Naked people ahead.
22. Be very careful.
23. Who doesn’t like to sleep on these?
25. Apostrophes, people, apostrophes.
26. Can’t afford tuition?
27. CONGRATIONS, YOU PASSED!
28. Have yourself a nonmetallic, chemical new year!
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Tasneem Nashrulla is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.