1. Making peace with the fact that you can’t fall into friendships like you did in school and college.
2. Planning your roommate situation so you can recreate college friendships!
Let’s sign a five-year lease!
3. Resisting the urge to stay home with your non-human friends, Netflix and Pizza.
4. Doing an internet search on “How to make friends as an adult.”
5. Working out the best places to meet your potential friends.
Should I go to the bar? The coffee shop? That weird networking event?
6. Keeping your inner child under wraps so as to attract more “mature” friends.
7. Making smiling a full-time job because, you know, it makes you more approachable and stuff.
8. Crafting tactics to approach people and then learning to deal with not being noticed.
All that effort for nothing!
9. Bumping into someone awesome at a random place, exchanging numbers, and never hearing from them again.
Are you still waiting?
10. Having to make awkward small talk so you can hurry up and get to the friendship part.
11. Watching your social skills inexplicably disappear.
I swear I know how to do this.
12. Figuring out how to turn co-workers into real friends.
Because that’s what’s easily accessible/less scary.
13. Trying the direct approach, because you are a goddamn adult.
“Hi! You’re cool. We have a lot in common. We should be friends!”
14. Resorting to bribing tactics, like bringing cupcakes to work.
Everyone loves them right?
15. Observing how other adults have managed to form meaningful friendships so you can replicate it.
16. Trying to make weather talk kick-start a friendship.
17. Gathering the courage to hang out with a new person for the first time.
18. Being naive enough to think that one great hangout = best buddies for life.
Except it isn’t.
19. Dealing with your parents setting you up on “friendship” dates.
Nothing good can come of it.
21. Finding out that “Let’s hang out soon” really means it’s never going to happen!
22. Learning to speak about yourself because how else are people going to get to know you?
23. Reducing the list of things you look for in a good friend.
At this point you’ll settle for having just ONE thing in common.