We've been duped!
We were led to believe "50 Shades of Grey" would be a misogynistic drama where we'd spend 2 hours 5 minutes cringing at moments of abuse yet, somehow, walk away super horny. The joke is on us. While I did walk away desperately wanting a man to snatch a bite of toast out of my unsuspecting hand, the rest is all false hopes and expectations. "50 Shades of Grey" is a brilliant comedy, and I don't say that mockingly.
Again, "50 Shades of Grey" is a BRILLIANT. COMEDY.
I walked into 50 Shades (if I may refer to it in short) with only three pieces of information: (1) The "Curious?" posters plastered across LA made me want to buy a grey tie and I don't even wear ties, (2) The 2013 Saturday Night Live "50 Shades of Grey Auditions" made me die laughing and had a spot-on Kristen Stewart (Noël Wells) and (3) Christians across the nation were boycotting the movie, which is always a good indicator that you should definitely see a film. I had not read the books, did not know the history and just wanted to mindlessly be a part of a global movement.
. . .But there is nothing mindless about a film that's chock full of sophisticated comedy.
It's ok to laugh.
We get the ok to laugh in the first 5 minutes, with the Chaplin-style meet-cute between Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) and Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Is this prop-comedy? This fall is too much! Yes, that's our cue, as an audience, to laugh. More importantly, it's the moment that grants us permission to laugh out loud, yes, out loud, for the rest of the film.
I wish I could drunk dial like that.
Still taking this movie too seriously? That's ok; director Sam Taylor-Johnson is going to force you to laugh whether you like it or not by giving you the most hilarious drunk-dial scene of all time. And it will be done via flip phone nonetheless. I can only wish to be that adorable and witty every time I drunk dial a billionaire. If you didn't believe Ana really had a 4.0 before, you definitely do now.
Dakota Johnson is a dark humor goddess.
The drunk-dial is just the beginning of a million moments of perfect comedic ability by Johnson. The dead-pan delivery of such provocative and cringe worthy phrases like, "Are we going to make love now," "What are butt plugs" and "I will launder this item" leaves us making that weird choking-under-the-breath-laugh, because, we wouldn't want to disturb anyone else with our real laugh. Fear not, if you want to laugh at these moments, trust me, everyone else does too. Let that real laugh out.
But, "Twilight".
And speaking of deadpan, let's talk about "Twilight" for a minute. I already told you I'm naive. I walked in knowing nothing about 50 Shades, but after the third Ana lip-bite and the lens-flare-laden walk in the woods, there was no doubt we were in a "Twilight" parallel universe. What's that you say, the inception of 50 Shades was "Twilight" fan fiction? Oh. My guess is only small percentage of the 100 million+ readers were aware of this piece of information, but it was not to be missed in the film. This is the most blatant and classiest "Twilight" parody made to date and if you can't laugh at a "Twilight" parody, what can you laugh at?
On crescendos.
If there's one thing we learned from "Jurassic Park", and every other movie ever made, music amplifies the emotionality of a film. (You're singing the "Jurassic Park" theme in you're head right now, aren't you?) The 50 Shades soundtrack boasts some serious pop artists, like Beyoncé, AWOLNATION, and Annie Lenox (side note: was anyone else disappointed Lana del Ray didn't make the cut?) but what we hear in the movie is a soundtrack full of comedically timed crescendo that become the ba-dum-tish to every moment that we would have otherwise taken seriously.
The elevators!
My final point of proof; there wasn't one person in the theater that didn't laugh when we finally heard the line we'd all been waiting for, "I'm 50 shades of fucked up." Should we have been laughing here? Please, absolutely. The comedic foreplay leading up to this point makes this the peak moment of our relationship with this film. If you didn't laugh here, you probably also have a hard time having an orgasm. Don't worry, you'll have your chance again when the movie closes with the doors of the elevator with the last words, "Anastasia!", "Christian!"
Failure or genius?
Although I haven't read the books, I don't get the impression the trilogy was ever intended to be funny. Most readers did so with utmost seriousness and obscene lust, which tells me the comedic genius is a new element brought forth in its cinematic rendition.
So then the question is:
Is it possible Sam Taylor-Johnson failed so miserably at making a serious drama that it came out funny on accident? I can't imagine anything this good was done so by happenstance. I like to trust that the filmmakers, actors, and team are capable of telling a story in whatever tone or genre they intend.
So then maybe the bigger question is:
Why have we been duped? Have we entered an era where filmmakers mock our sensibility as audience members and challenge our ability to discern conflicting genres? An era where the general public doesn't understand why "Birdman" has already won 9 awards, because they don't understand it's a genius comedy? Are we entering the era where films will sandbag audiences and we can never trust a trailer again?
If the end result is more movies like this, that sneak up on you and delight your sense of irony, test your ability to trust your gut reaction, disarms your preconceived notions, and challenge social conventions, then I sure hope so.
50 Shades, you were a terrible drama, but an absolutely fantastic comedy. Thanks for the good times.
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