1. As a declaration of true love.
O’ cupid, hast thine arrow pierced mine jungle-like chest hair?
2. As impromptu formalwear.
I mean I guess you’re technically dressed in black tie, but come on, dude…
3. As a way to show your team spirit when you left your jersey in the wash.
Smells like team spirit. And ballpark nacho cheese.
4. As a beacon of your undying patriotism.
5. As a subtle hint to your secret super-identity.
Nothing says “billionaire playboy vigilante” quite like some sweet, sweet razor burn.
6. As a substitute for hitting the gym.
Faux physical fitness? Nailed it.
7. As a substitute cornfield for alien crop circles.
BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN??
8. As an extra ‘stache when one lip-warmer isn’t enough.
“Oh yeah? My chest knew about that band before it was cool.”
9. As a reflection of your indecisive personality.
We get it. You’re complex. Now put a dang shirt on.
10. As a makeshift swimsuit.
Winter can’t come soon enough.