23 Woes Of Growing Up Without A Pet

AKA 23 reasons to still resent your parents.

1. Your parents could not understand how much happiness a ball of fluff could bring to one human.

PETA should’ve had them arrested.

2. And even if they did have a heart, you were told owning one was too expensive.

3. But you were resilient: you offered to take care of it and pitch in your entire piggybank savings.

All $12.37 of it.

4. You even pulled out some of your best tricks.

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5. And they still said no.

6. Or, you were allergic AND IT JUST WASN’T FAIR.

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7. You vicariously lived through friends who were lucky enough to have a pet.

And often wished you actually lived with them.

8. And gleefully offered to take care of it when their families went away on vacation.

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ALL MINE…for the week.

9. You watched the other kids in the neighborhood walk their dogs from afar.

You still don’t understand why people would complain about doing it.

10. And thought it was ridiculous that kids with multiple pets couldn’t just share.

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Shut up, Paris.

11. You felt like the only kid in the world who didn’t have a feline or canine best friend.

12. Still, you already had a name picked out if the day ever came.

13. You had fish.

FISH ARE NOT PETS, DAD. NICE TRY.

14. And some virtual pets.

…that you really spoiled.

15. But those pets could never give you the inexplicable joy of being cuddled to death.

16. Or an opportunity to teach them new tricks.

17. Or a chance to go on road trips together.

18. You never learned (and still don’t quite know) how to properly hold one.

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19. Going to a pet store and playing with one was one of your favorite hobbies.

20. You’ve seriously contemplated sneaking one out.

 

21. It’s okay though. You vowed that one day when you’re older and you’re calling the shots, you WILL be a proud pet owner.

Take that, parents.

22. But holy hell, your parents were right: owning a pet is SO EXPENSIVE.

And so much work.

23. Well, thank god for the Internet then.

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