1. Your parents could not understand how much happiness a ball of fluff could bring to one human.
PETA should’ve had them arrested.
2. And even if they did have a heart, you were told owning one was too expensive.
3. But you were resilient: you offered to take care of it and pitch in your entire piggybank savings.
All $12.37 of it.
7. You vicariously lived through friends who were lucky enough to have a pet.
And often wished you actually lived with them.
9. You watched the other kids in the neighborhood walk their dogs from afar.
You still don’t understand why people would complain about doing it.
11. You felt like the only kid in the world who didn’t have a feline or canine best friend.
12. Still, you already had a name picked out if the day ever came.
13. You had fish.
FISH ARE NOT PETS, DAD. NICE TRY.
14. And some virtual pets.
…that you really spoiled.
15. But those pets could never give you the inexplicable joy of being cuddled to death.
16. Or an opportunity to teach them new tricks.
19. Going to a pet store and playing with one was one of your favorite hobbies.
21. It’s okay though. You vowed that one day when you’re older and you’re calling the shots, you WILL be a proud pet owner.
Take that, parents.
22. But holy hell, your parents were right: owning a pet is SO EXPENSIVE.
And so much work.
- And watch a man react to the modern world after spending 44 years in prison. ›