You deserve a marshmallow butt so majestic that it hums angels to sleep. Your butt is buoyant, bodacious, and beautiful. When you feel sad, you can slap your own butt and feel happy again. It’s also a great pillow for your friends.
So turn around, stick it out, show the world you got a bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt, bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt..
You got: A BEYONCÉ BUTT!
You deserve a butt so sexy, swervy, and flawless that people might fall drunk in love with it.
You got: A POWERFUL BUTT!
For how hard you work in your life, you deserve a butt that perfectly reflects your hustle. Albeit small, your behind packs an all-powerful, omnipotent punch. When the world is falling apart, people will turn to your butt to save us all.
You got: AN INSTAGRAMMED KIM KARDASHIAN BUTT!
Your butt is so round and robust people could not possibly believe it’s real. But whether it’s real or not is irrelevant; your butt was made and is destined for internet fame. Your butt deserves its own instagram handle. Get on it.
You got: A “DAT ASS” BUTT!
You deserve a strong, smart, sensual butt. Your butt makes people go “uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu”
You got: A HUGE F*CKING BUTT!
Your butt is ginormous. Your butt could kill. Your butt is a mammoth monster with its own solar system. Your butt is the master of the universe. Your butt makes people pilgrimage for days just to witness its existence. Your butt is my religion.