26 Truths Of Growing Up Without Cable

It was tough, but it built character.

1. Your parents didn’t understand why you would possibly need more than four channels.

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2. Which left you clueless when your friends would talk about their favorite Nickelodeon shows.

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3. And even though you never watched them, you still owned every piece of merchandise.




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4. You were acutely aware of the existence of a Cable Caste System.

You were better than the kids with no TV at all, but a step down from the kids with cable. And the kids with satellite dish? They were kings and queens.

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5. You woke up at ungodly hours to watch Sailor Moon in syndication.

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So obviously you could never wake up in time for school.

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6. You also became a Jerry Springer aficionado since there was nothing else to watch.

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7. And you savored anything you could find, even though the grown-up jokes went completely over your head.

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8. This image was one of your least favorite shows.

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9. So your entire childhood depended on two very meticulously and creatively positioned metal rods.

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10. Plan B was asking your cable buddies to “hang out” after school.

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But we all knew what your real motives were.

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11. And when your family went on vacation and you discovered cable in your hotel room, that’s when the real vacation started.

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Disney World can wait, the Grand Canyon can wait, and Mall of America can definitely wait.

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12. When you discovered you could check out movies from the library, it felt like Christmas.

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13. You were frustrated when your friends were too entranced by TV to chat.

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14. But when you found someone who knew your struggle, it was a special type of bond.

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15. You had a creative edge over your classmates.

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16. Because you turned to books for entertainment.

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Luckily, lots of the shows you missed were books first.

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17. TV Guide was completely irrelevant.

TV Guide

Except for its masterful cover art, as displayed above.

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18. You were forced to be a kid and play outside and engage with the real world and stuff.

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But you’re grateful because you know you had a real childhood.

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19. But when Saturday mornings came around, you and television were not to be disturbed from 8 a.m. to noon.




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20. You never understood the pure joy of mindlessly surfing through channels.

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21. You did learn a lot about the law with Judge Judy, though.

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22. And you learned all your science stuff from Bill Nye the Science Guy.

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23. And Bob Ross taught you to believe in yourself.

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24. Luckily, PBS Kids had Arthur, The Magic School Bus, and Reading Rainbow, which united everyone.

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(Except the kids without TVs.)

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25. Of course, as an adult, you’re glad you aren’t dependent on cable for survival because, as it turns out, it costs trillions of dollars.

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26. And now, you can fully appreciate Netflix, Hulu Plus, and Apple TV.

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You have a lot to catch up on.

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